SITREP 03SEP14 – #WoozieWednesday World Update

Visit Zandia for a fun holiday today!

Visit Zandia for a fun holiday today!





NIGER – We have had the construction of a drone base for MQ-11s and Big Brothers approved by the Niger government. We look forward to working closely with our African and French partners in securing and neutralizing POI and HVT as they may appear across the continent.

ZANDIA – We continue to complete equipment orders daily for The Syndicate in regards to ground and air tactical equipment. Recruiting of Commanders and Recon Operators has been successful from the South American region as new recruits over the previous month.

SOMALIA – We are proud to have been involved in the positive and successful neutralization of Al Shabaab targets outside of Mogadishu in a covert operation within the last 48 hours. We look forward to expanding our Zandian Operations to the Somali peninsula and beyond over the next 6 months.

SOUTH AFRICA – Continued support by the newly elected South African government in regards to BRIC agreements, and namely support of Russian demands has raised our awareness of the requirement for ExcelliaBS to monitor closely the activities of this government and their role within Europe.

RWANDA – The proposed use of Rwandan troops in the Syrian DMZ controlled UN Observation Zone of Observers and other NGO Peace lovers has raised our eye-brows a little. Obviously we would prefer that our capabilities and equipment were utilized for such a peace-keeping/monitoring role; however we only work for diamonds and not for chump change. So good luck to those boys, we hope they do not end up as guests of Syrian Rebel Al-Qaida forces like the UN Peacekeepers.


ISRAEL – The abduction of Fijian UN Peacekeepers, as previously stated is of concern. Obviously playing rugby whilst on patrol does not assist your SA, so we are happy to offer our equipment and capabilities to ensure the safe return of these peaceful soldiers back to their bases. We ask that everyone remember that caring is sharing!

SYRIA/IRAQ – Well what can you say – this has turned into a huge shitstorm, hell even Prez Obama looks a little confused, so confused he cannot decide what to call the opposition in Syria – IS, ISIL, ISIS … we have one name – ENEMY. So with that in mind, we are going to go take a looksee and hang out with our friends the Kurds as they seem like the only ones willing to get their hands dirty. Hopefully we can trade some kit for oil!

IRAN – With the identification and neutralization of over 16,000 Iranian web deployed networks in the past week, we can only presume that the porn industry has taken a major hit. We look forward to expanding our capabilities and offering mobile and deployable IT networks for those that are now without porn or gaming outside of Iran.

AFGHANISTAN – Seems the Taliban are not biding their time and waiting for the US troops to handover, moreover, they are keen to link up with IS and extend this caliphate concept. We would like to ascertain if this Caliphate concept and law approved of Opium as a cash crop? Regardless, ExcelliaBS stands ready to fill the void once the US pulls out this year from the Ghan!


UKRAINE – It is clear to us here that NATO is enjoying dillydallying over canapés and champagne in Wales discussing what else they can deny the rich oligarchs in Moscow. Obviously none of these bans affect Putler himself, so the incursion invasion of Ukraine continues. We have decided that actions speak louder than words, so we are going to donate as much equipment as possible to Kiev. We figure a squadron of F-32s, 1,000 Creightons, 5 Big Brothers, 25 MQ-11s and some attack helicopters should even the playing field somewhat.


AUSTRALIA – The Prime Minister announced today that the down under government were stopping all sales of Uranium to Russia. We welcome this news; however question how this will affect actions on the ground in Ukraine. Unless of course Putler is planning some dirty bombs somewhere or a little bit of side trading sell-ons with Iran.




Anastasia “Acorn” Shevchenko is a contracted ExcelliaBS Intelligence Analyst, you can stay updated with her on Facebook by clicking her picture



tell us your Zandian war stories!

© Excellia 2015